Jack | 8 Months

And just like that my little man is 8 months old! *tear*

(Okay, 8 1/2 months. I'm late, but you've come to expect that, right?) 

 8 month old Jack loves...

his dino paci

eating

being outside

rocking

playing w/ balls

all dogs and cats

his mommy!

 8 month old Jack dislikes...

getting his diaper changed

bedtime and naps

going on car rides

Health: Jack got sick for the first time this month and it was pretty much the saddest thing ever :(

Poor buddy had a sky high fever and woke with a runny nose and small cough. It nearly broke my heart. Turns out he had an ear infection. Our naturopath gave us a homeopathic and in less than 24 hours he was back to playing and laughing like his normal self. I'm pretty sure the whole episode was harder on me and Stevan than Jack, and I'm super grateful that my naturopath is also a pediatrician. It makes me so happy that my son's primary healthcare provider is likeminded when it comes to her approach to health and well being. I feel blessed to have met her.

Jack is just under 20 lbs. He stills wears size 3 diapers and is now in mostly 12 month clothes. 

Food (Nursing): Jack still nurses quite frequently for an 8 month old. Always short 5 minutes feeding, but still every 3 hours or so. (Which makes me feel pretty crazy knowing that every 3 hours is what is recommended for a newborn...)

Food (Solids): Jack Jack  LOVES to eat! This month we introduced dairy and even some meat! He has yet to turn up his nose at anything I've offered, but he definitely has his favorites, too. He loves all fruit, especially bananas and berries, cheese, sweet potatoes, and butternut squash best of all.

Sleep: Oh, brother. If you want to know how Jack + sleep are going just read all the information in every baby book and on every baby blog that says what not to do when it comes to baby's sleep. The good news is, Jack has dropped his third nap of the day and we've fallen into a really good 2 nap schedule. He wakes around 6am and is ready for his first nap around 8 and his second around 11:30 or 12 (depending on how that first nap went). Usually each nap is 1.5 hours long. The bad news is... Jack still naps almost exclusively in my arms and we still co-sleep at night. I'm not really sure why that is bad news other than according to every baby book and blog I mentioned above I'm doing everything wrong and am a mommy failure.

But seriously, there are definitely 2 negatives about my little man's sleeping habits. One is that he goes to bed so early. After his second nap he stays awake till bedtime, which is currently 6-6:30pm. I just feel like he doesn't get much time in the evenings with his daddy! When we try to keep him up later he stills wakes at 6am... but is a grump butt. So for now we are keeping the early bedtime. Secondly, Jack is a extreme comfort nurser. He wakes up multiple times at night to nurse (usually anywhere between 4-8 nightly feedings), meaning I am not getting the best quality sleep, turning me into the morning grump butt! ;) 

Honestly, we've run into a lot of other nighttime sleeping issues, but they usually are short in duration and are brought on by teething, a growth spurt, or  a crazy day that threw this little one's schedule for a loop. 

New this Month: After a good month or so of crawling, Jack now uses anything and everything to pull himself up and has even begun cruising along the furniture! I'm torn about having such a mobile babe these days... He can be quite the handful! He crawls faster than lightening! He is so easy to make laugh and I just love his giggle fits. He is ticklish on his sides, thighs and the bottom of those adorable little feet. Still rocking 6 teeth, although I'm convinced he's working on 2 more on top! Loves all kinds of push toys (which I hide every so often b/c he is wayyy too daring with those things) and loves to scoot on the floor on his knees pushing his toy bin (or diaper caddy!) in front of him. He's working on perfecting his pincher grasp and likes to practice on happy puffs. He's enjoyed lots of fall festivities this past months like the cider press and pumpkin patch!

Jack Jack, you make each day new and exciting!

Your daddy and I love watching you grow.

You are our greatest joy, little man.

We love you!

Jack | 7 Months

Jack | 6 Months

Jack | 5 Months

Jack | 4 Months

Jack | 3 Months

Jack | 2 Months

Jack | 1 Month

Jack | 0 Months

Jack | 7 Months

Okay. I really dropped the ball on this one. 

More than 2 weeks late on my little man's monthly update this time around! 

Life is busy, busy! And Jack definitely keeps my hands full.

(Not to mention it's getting near impossible to take these pictures. 

I'm pretty sure Jack's intention is to dive off of this chair and give his momma a heart attack.)

7 month old Jack loves...

his dino paci

being outside

Huckleberry

eating solids

rocking 

me

(I'm this little guy favorite person and loving every minute of it while I can.)

7 month old Jack hates...

getting his diaper changed

nap time

when you take anything out of his hands

Health: At Jack's last checkup he weighed 18lbs 12oz and was 27.5 in tall. He has consistently been in the 70th percentile or higher since birth. He has 2 new teeth! (Now 3 on top, 2 on bottom.) He is still in size 3 diapers and wears mostly 9 month size clothes. So, so thankful for my big, healthy boy!

Food (Nursing): My little man is a snacker, for sure! He still nurses about every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. But they are always quick, 4-5 minute feedings. If I try to go a little longer in between feedings he pretty much throws a fit... unless we're out and about. Who has time to eat when there are so many new, exiting things to look at!?!

Food (Solids): Last month Jack wasn't too sure how he felt about solids. He tolerated mealtime but definitely wasn't enthusiastic about it. Now I think he's genuinely enjoying his solids! Some of his favorites are applesauce and butternut squash. He really enjoys sweet combinations such as butternut squash mixed with banana and a hint of cinnamon. He tolerates his greens if they are hidden in sweeter vegetables like carrots. He usually eats 2+ ounces a feeding 2x a day. 

Speaking of solids... so far I've made all his baby food and I hope to keep going to ensure he's eating healthy, all natural foods, but what pre-made baby food and snack brands out there do you guys like and trust? Once he starts snacking more I'm assuming I'll want some pre-made go-to's on hand for when we're out and about. (?Or no? Do people make that sort of thing, too? Not sure I'm that domestic.)  ;)

Sleep: I'm happy to report Jack is not fighting naps or bedtime as much as he was last month. Last month I seriously thought I was at my wits end. Sleep seemed to be an endless battle and we both were feeling more than a little deprived. He takes 3 naps a day and is usually down for the night between 6:30 or 7 (depending on how his naps went and if he decided to skip the 3rd one or not). He wakes up by 6-6:30 every morning. Jack still takes most of his naps in my arms like he's a newborn. Why? Because if I put him in his crib he wakes up in 30 minutes and won't. go. back. to. bed.  ...giving me a crabby baby who wants to nap 45 minutes later and a to-do list for work a mile long. This month is busy season at work, so to get stuff done I simply hold him and type with the other hand. I'm a crazy person. I know. But it gives me a solid 1 - 1.5 hours at least twice a day to work with no distraction. (Plus, I kinda just love holding him. THERE! I admitted it. I feel better.) For nighttime sleep, he goes down in his crib but wakes up repeatedly. Usually after 2 hours or so I give up and put him in bed with us where he drifts off to sleep holding my hand.. I just love him. 

New this Month: Jack is crawling! Jack started crawling on August 29th :). The first few days he would simply take 2 or 3 steps in one direction, sit, pivot, and take 2 or 3 steps in another direction. It was so cute... he wasn't sure what to do (or where to go) with his newfound independence, I suppose! About a week later he was crawling all over the place as fast as can be and getting into everything. EVERYTHING. Especially wires. And shoes. And Huckleberry's food bowl. And toiler plungers. Needless to say, we baby-proofed the house after that. He is now eating more of a variety of solids and loving it! Enjoys taking things out of any sort of storage bin -- pulls toys out of their bins, diapers out of the diaper caddy, tupperware out of cabinets, etc. pulling himself up using the couch or people's legs. Two new teeth this month -- 5 total! And I'm pretty sure he's working on that sixth as I type and he chews on my slipper...

Jack Jack, you fill my heart with so much joy.

Your smile is simply contagious.

Your daddy and I can't image this life without you.

Love you so so so much, little man!

Jack | 6 Months

Jack | 5 Months

Jack | 4 Months

Jack | 3 Months

Jack | 2 Months

Jack | 1 Month

Jack | 0 Months

Jack | 6 Months

I cannot believe my baby turned 6 months old last week. SIX MONTHS. How is that even possible.. 

Little Jack has experienced a lot of new things this month and has grown so much! 

He's such a fun little boy to hang out with.

6 month old Jack loves...

his dino paci

Huckleberry and Herschel

being outside

playing with his toys

rocking
music

reading books

6 month old Jack dislikes...

nap time

when his momma leaves the room

Health: No wellness checkup until next Thursday, but I'm so thankful to say Jack Jack is one healthy boy! He even survived two cross-country flights without getting sick. I pray every day for God to provide a hedge of protection around this little one and am so grateful for his good health. I'll update with his height and weight after his next checkup.

Food (Nursing): Jack is still nursing every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day, translating to about 6 times a day. He has been pretty consistent with that for the last few months. He has been waking up more at night to nurse but I know it's due to him teething (he just cut his third tooth and is cutting three more! Poor buddy!), and I usually comfort nurse him until he drifts off to sleep. I don't mind. I genuinely enjoy our nursing relationship and know I'll miss it when he weans himself.

Food (Solids): Jack got his first tastes of solids on Sunday Aug. 10th! You could definitely tell that the new texture was a little strange for him, but we gave him carrots and I think he really liked them after a few bites! Since then he's tried bananas, sweet potatoes, and avocado. After that first week of solids though he has been very uninterested in anything but nursing. I'm not sure if he isn't a fan of the new food or if his disinterest has to due with his teething since I know that often plays a role in a little one's appetite. Either way, I offer him solids at least 2 times a day even though he really isn't thrilled with it.

Sleep: When Jack came to NY with me for two weeks his schedule (and sleeping habits) got a little wacky. Since getting back, I've been working really hard at trying to be consistent with a sleeping schedule for him. He goes to bed for the night at 7-7:30 and usually wakes at 6-6:30. Two nights ago was the first night I put him in his crib to sleep rather than in bed with me. My heart broke a little bit, but it didn't last long because after an hour he awoke very upset and I gladly put him in my bed and snuggled him all night. ;) I know!!! I am a terrible human being with no backbone. For naps, he pretty consistently takes 3 naps a day.

Doesn't that sound lovely? Well, it's not. Jack fights me tooth and nail for naps and bedtime. He does not want to go down (especially in his crib!). It's hard, and many days we both end up with tears of frustration. I give in and allow him to nod off in my arms where I'll continue to hold him for as long as he'll nap (usually an hour to an hour and a half) or put him in my bed if it's nighttime.  But I really don't think it's his crib that's the problem.. I think it's just sleep in general. While in NY, Jack slept in a different bed from night to night, but he never slept in my arms for naps. But as soon as he gave me those sleepy cues and I would try to put him down the tantrums would begin. He is a happy, alert, and curious baby most of the time and my gut is telling me he's just fighting sleep because he doesn't want to miss anything. When he does finally go down he is SOOO exhausted. He simply just cannot fight it anymore. I feel like he's going to be one of those kids that goes, goes, goes until he passes out on the floor surrounded by all his toys.

It's not ideal, but this too shall pass ;)

New this Month: So much! Jack has really discovered his voice and gives many squeals (or screams) of delight. He laughs, a lot! Huckleberry's panting always seems to bring a giggle fit out of him. He's ticklish on his sides and inner thighs. He loves playing with his toys (or anything really. toy or not). He likes music and especially when people sing to him. He is trying so, so hard to crawl and can get up on all fours and then rock back and forth. I think it will just be a few more weeks until he figures it out. He holds up his arms towards you when he wants to go to you or for you to pick him up. He has learned that when he hears the jiggle of Huck's collar that Huck is walking his way and looks for him in anticipation. It's so stinkin' cute! Started solids (carrots, bananas, sweet potatoes, and avocado). 1 new tooth (top, right lateral incisor), that makes 3 total! Flew all the way to NY and back and was a CHAMP on both flights. Such a good little traveling companion. :)

Happy 6 months, little man!

You are growing and learning so quickly!

You make each new day exciting and fresh. 

I feel so blessed to be your momma!

Love you, Jack Jack!

Jack | 3 Months

Last Monday Jack turned 3 months old! 

This month brought about a much more alert and smiley little man and has been so much fun! 

3 month old Jack loves...

mommy's funny faces

talking up a storm

Huckleberry

his lamaze peacock

bath time!

the ceiling fan

diaper changing time

and (surprisingly) tummy time

 2 month old Jack dislikes...

being put down

his car seat

naps

Health: No wellness check up this month so I'm not sure how much he weighs, but I'm guessing about 15lbs (up a 1/2 lb from last month?). He is still in size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes.

Breastfeeding: Jack and I are no longer nursing with the nipple shield and I'm happy to say I haven't had any bouts of mastitis since kicking it! I am so thrilled about that! I can honestly say I enjoy our nursing sessions, whereas just 4 or so weeks ago I was in tears with almost every feeding. I am still taking a Lecithin and Echinacea supplement 2x a day, but I really feel like losing the shield is what made all the difference. Jack has gone from eating about 17 times a day to about 6 to 8. He is still a big eater (hence those rolls!), but 6-8 feedings is much more manageable for this momma than 17!

Sleeping: At 6 weeks we implemented a bedtime routine starting around 6 every night. It's basically bath-book-boob-bed ;) (Although, right now the "book" is actually singing since he's too young for books to hold his attention. But alliteration is fun.) It has worked for us since the first day we started doing that and we're still going strong. He goes down around 7 and wakes up at 6-6:30. He wakes once to nurse around 3 or 4 in the morning but immediately goes back to sleep when he's done. For the first 6 weeks Jack slept exclusively in bed with me. Now I put him down for the night in his pack-n-play (which, btw, he just graduated out of the bassinet portion of the pack-n-play :( slow down that growing, baby boy!) while I spend the rest of my evening with Steven. But when I'm ready for bed for the night I pick him up and put him in bed beside me.

...I know, I know. Some of you probably think that's crazy but I can't get enough of this little boy. I know he is safe sleeping a foot away from me in his pack-n-play but I just can't stand it. I want to snuggle up with him all night. Not to mention, it makes the early morning feeding so much easier! I don't even have to sit up and it's awesome. He just latches and then drifts back to sleep once he's done. Easy peasy.

Some people believe co-sleeping isn't safe, while I know others just think it is a nuisance, but it really works for us and has from the very beginning. I feel so bonded sleeping with my little man all night. I love waking up nose to nose with him and seeing his gummy grin first thing in the morning. It just melts my heart. I honestly don't see our sleeping arrangement changing any time soon.

Naps are another story... let's not discuss naps. This kid is a great night sleeper... But not such a great napper.

Nicknames: I've noticed this past month that we have a lot of nicknames for Jack. Mostly, Steven and I refer to him as Little Man, but he is also Baby Bear, Jack Attack, and Jack Jack. It's ridiculous. I know.

New this Month: This month Jack has discover his hands! Hands that are a part of his body! Hands that can conveniently go right in his mouth whenever he wants! Hands! Such a magical thing, those hands. He is also a pro at tummy time now. He laughs and smiles the entire time and is just so strong! Speaking of laughing... he does it all the time and it's enough to make my heart burst! Oh yeah, this kid also decided to roll from tummy to back this month! (stop growing, Jack. just stop it) He has discovered that he can stand up tall with a little help from mommy or daddy and thinks that's a lot of fun, too. He also has discovered Huckleberry and loves to stare at him. He follows him with his eyes whenever he leaves the room. He's also working on those fine motor skills and has been practicing grasping his toys.

 I really love this stage and have been having the best time with my little man!

I'll tell ya, this little boy and I... we have a full blown love affair going on.
Steven and I are just smitten. We simply can't get enough.

Happy 3 months, Jack Jack! Mommy and Daddy love you so, so much!  

Settled: 2013, A Year In Review

Cabo, July 2013

I still remember how scared I was when I stepped onto the plane at Dulles airport in Virginia. How frightening it felt to know this was a one way ticket to Seattle and I didn't know when I would be back. I was nervous about things not working out and me returning home hanging my head in shame, telling others that Steven and I didn't work out, he wasn't "the one" for me after all, I couldn't find a job, I was out of money, out of luck, out of hope. I sat in between an old man who slept most of the way and a young girl returning to Seattle - her home- after spending the summer in DC. I cried silently as I sat there, hoping if they did notice, they'd assume it was the book I had buried my face into that was making me do so. 

That was over 2 years ago. 

If I had to summarize this past year in one word I would choose "settled." I know I've blogged about this back in September (here),  but while reflecting on 2013 that word keeps pressing it's way to the forefront of my mind. This is the year I felt settled. Settled in my job, in my marriage, in friendships and community, and, most importantly, in myself. Probably for the first time in my life. 

I don't want to repeat all I said in my previous post on being settled, but just that there were a lot of changes and challenges this year for me but not one of them knocked me down. I felt grounded enough to withstand all the strong winds swirling around me. I experienced plenty of fear this year and plenty of disappointment, but I also found strength and joy in abundance. 

Together, Steven and I shared our first overnight stay at the hospital, tackled many home projects, handed our financial situation over to God and found a burden lifted through the simple obedient act of tithing, bought a truck, went on more hikes than I can count with our favorite sidekick, Huckleberry, delved into the world of Paleo and hot yoga, celebrated our one year anniversary in Cabo, and received the surprise of our lives...the news that we'd be welcoming a son in 2014. And yet, through all the high and lows I felt overwhelming settled in where I was in life. I felt firm, grounded, and immensely blessed in the good and not so swell times.

I think as humans we crave intimacy, security, and a sense of belonging. And this year I found all three. This year I discovered myself, where I belong, and with whom I belong. 

I'm finally settled and, oh, so grateful!

 2013, you're going to be a hard one to beat.

Settling In

This morning the realization hit me that I've lived in Washington for over 2 years. I can remember how scared and unsure I felt when I first moved out here --Will I be able to get a job? Can I afford to live on my own? Will Steven ever propose? I had a lot of questions about my future and a lot of uncertainty as to whether or not I had made the right decision for myself. 

That first year was a whirlwind of events. I did get a job, I was able to afford my own place, and Steven and I got married. But I'd have to admit that during that first year, even though things were working out better than I had ever hoped, I wasn't very happy. In fact, I was pretty damn miserable. I experienced that kind of homesickness that causes physical pain. I ached for my family, friends, and a comfortable home I felt secure in. I was plagued by severe anxiety. My mental state began to wear down my physical wellbeing. I gained weight and suffered from stress induced dermatitis and acne outbreaks. I allowed myself to wallow in negativity and resentment. And then one day, I decided to make a change.

I decided to take my happiness into my own hands, to change my lifestyle and take control of my physical and mental wellbeing, to think positively and practice gratitude. I completely revamped my diet and dived headfirst into a new Paleo / yeast free way of eating, I took up yoga and spent long hours on walks with the pup and my husband. I invested in quality time with others, allowing myself to open up and to enrich my life with friendships. I found a Naturopath and discovered the healing powers of vitamin D! 

It wasn't easy, it took lots of disciple and hard work, but slowly I started to notice that I was beginning to feel a sense of contentment and experience joy in my day to day. It was as if I shed bitterness, resentment, and negativity along with the 15 lbs I dropped and the bad skin. I felt lighter, freer, and settled. And that's when it hit me, I'm beginning to settle in. I'm beginning to settle into this new life on the West coast. I'm beginning to settle into my marriage, into my home, into the friendships I have made, and into the life Steven and I have begun to build for ourselves. 

I'm not "settling" in the bad kind of way -- as in settling for a mediocre life -- but in a much different way. Just as a tree plants its roots deep in the ground and becomes firm enough to withstand all of life's storms, I too am feeling grounded with where I am in life. I've begun to settle into this new place. I feel firm, grounded, and secure. And although there is still a lot of uncertainty in my life, one thing I am certain of is that I can withstand any storm that may head my way. I might be rattled and come to a little worse for the wear, but I know I can remain strong and grounded. 

It may have taken 730+ days, but here in Washington, 3,000 miles away from all I used to know and love, I am settling in --and that feels really, really good. 

Nostalgia & Saying Goodbye. Again.

Very few things in life conjure up those feelings of nostalgia quite like my Alma Mater. I loved everything about those four years spent in Lynchburg, VA -- the thrill of living on my own for the very first time, the friendships I made, and even my studies. So while visiting Virginia last week, I couldn't resist stoping by my old stomping grounds for a quick peak! 

And my-oh-my how it's changed!!! New dorms are popping up on every hillside. The science building has been torn down and a gorgeous, new library now sits in it's place, and there was even a Dunkin' Donuts! (bad idea for those who may be prone to gain the "freshman 15") And although I think it's great that the university  is growing and expanding with each passing year, I couldn't help but feel a few pangs of betrayal.

This beautiful place that holds so many of my nearest and dearest memories is not so familiar anymore. It's moved on and doesn't seem to remember me. It got me thinking that if I were to walk on campus at the start of this school year, I'd feel so out of place. Only two years removed, but so much has happened in that time. I've grown and changed. I truly am not the same girl that strolled those halls just a few years ago.

And you know what? That's okay. It's okay to move on..life never slows down for you and that's okay, too. We all must change and adapt in order to grow -- in order to survive, really.

I was excited to see one familiar face on campus though. Mrs. Towles was one of my favorite English teachers. I took her for English 101, Expository Writing and Composition, and Latino Lit! I may have squealed when I saw her face plastered on this sign just a bit...

But I digress...

And it's funny how some things change so quickly, and how others, regardless of time or distance, stay the same. After saying a nostalgic goodbye to my alma mater, I headed a few hours down the road to saw a quick hello to my best friend.

I am always struck my how easy things are between us. No matter how many weeks have passed since we last spoke or how many months since I've last given her a hug, things are just easy. Our conversation quickly falls into place and everything just becomes...comfortable. Comfortable like we are back in first grade giggling over the cutest boy in class or staying up late telling ghost stories.

Of course, we have both changed plenty since the first grade and our friendship had to evolve over the years to keep us close. But every time I'm with her I'm reminded that some bonds can't be broken. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Life would be too hard to live without your best friend.

Live Life With No Regrets

Live life with no regrets. Easier said then done, right? At only 24, I could tell you numerous regrets I already have in this life --people I needlessly hurt, decisions I hastily made, words I have spoken far too quickly. I've learned that it is impossible to live life with no regrets. And those who say they have are either a) lying or b) have not experienced much growth. Because the truth is, as you grow and mature and reflect back on your life, you will find regrets. We all will. Some big, some small, but they're there.

One of my biggest regrets in life has been taking my family for granted. I've always had a great relationship with my parents and brothers, but once I was college bound, I simply couldn't wait to get away. Although my hometown was only a 3 hour (and very easy) drive from campus, I chose to only go  home on Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. I stayed at school in the summer --worked and took a few classes here and there -- and rarely went home to visit my parents. When I was home, my evening were either filled with plans to hang out with my old high school friends, or I simply locked myself away in my room and buried my nose in a book.

I loved my parents so much, and, of course, I still do, but I took their proximity for granted. Now, living 3,000 miles away, I grimace when I remember how I sought time away from them. Time to "grow into my own." Whatever that means...

If there is one thing I've learned in these past two years while living in Washington, it's that you always need your parents. Always. You never outgrow them. You never reach an age where you are too old for their advice, you always find courage in their encouragement, pride in their support, and comfort in their hugs.

Or maybe my situation is just unique. I truly do have amazing parents, and I hope that you reading this can boast of that too.  My prayer is that I can be as influential over my children as my parents have been on me. Family is so important and I hope to live more conscious of mine, and never allow them to fall into the "regrets" category again.

I Miss...

The #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge for today is "something you miss." This prompt couldn't have fallen on a better day, because one of the things I miss most in this world is my mother. 

My mother and I haven't always had the smoothest relationship, but now that I'm older, I've realized the reason for us butting heads all those years are a) because well, they were my teenage years so I was a brat, and b) my mother and I are so similar. We are both very stubborn,opinionated, and independent. We've never been ones to care to do whatever everyone else is doing. We march to the beat of our own drum in many ways, whether you like it or not. And we love deeply --it may be a spouse, an animal, a home --we form attachments and we love what we love a lot. And one thing I love a lot is her. And gosh darnit, it's hard living so far away from her. Sometimes I feel like I just need her more than ever.  I'm just glad my stubborn brain has finally recognized what a blessing she is to me in this life. 

So thank you, Mom. Thank you for instilling strength, independence, and a fierce love within me. Forgive me for my bratty years. I'm sure the favor will be returned when I have a daughter of my own one day ;)

And seriously, you and Dad should just quit your jobs and move to Washington. Just make sure you bring some of that sunshine with you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you.

Let's Talk Facts

Today I'm linking up with the hilarious Whitney from I Wore Yoga Pants to Work. A) Because I love when people tell me what to blog about because then I don't have to be creative at all and B) Whitney's pretty. I like pretty people. 

So here are some random facts all about me, myself, and I.

I only wear clothes because that's what society expects of me. Most days after work I put on my bathrobe and if I do happen to fall asleep in pajamas, it is not uncommon for me to wake up naked. I understand the necessity of clothing, but, seriously, my birthday suit is just way too comfortable to be beat.

I sing. All. The. Time. About everything. I don't speak my sentences, I sing them. You can bet my husband really enjoys that on the daily ;)

I name inanimate objects. Example: My espresso machine is named Max. My car is named Gracie. And my iphone is named Florence. 

I write for my hobby and my living. I'm one of the lucky few English majors who is actually using my degree. Feel very blessed about that.

I think old people are pretty much the cutest thing ever. So cute, that when I'm in close proximity to them, I cry. No, seriously, I do. Evidence in this post.  

Speaking of crying, I also tend to cry pretty much every time I watch Animal Planet.

To this day, Beauty and the Beast and Moulin Rouge are my favorite movies. I guess I like musical. 

I take a bath almost every night. Nothing beats some candles, a good book, and bubbles. Plus, it helps me fall asleep quickly.

I suffer from sympathy pains. If you describe to me any pain you're feeling, I will experience pain in my knees. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!?!

I've had the same best friend for 14 billion years. Okay, like 17. But that's a good run, huh?

And, I'm pretty sure we were the most awkward looking kids growing up.

 

Mullets, oversized tweedy bird shirts, and rollerblades...doesn't get more awkward than that.

I'll stop now because this could easily go on all day.
You're welcome :)

My 17 Year Old Self

Like most high school yearbooks, each member in my graduating class of 2007 was instructed to pick a quote that would stand beneath his or her senior portrait. Oftentimes, boys pick something ridiculous like Billy Madison's famous line "You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants." (Actually, I am pretty sure I saw that quote beside my husbands graduation picture in his yearbook. Go figure.) But for most graduating girls, we take this task very seriously, as if those words spoken by some dead author,  poet, evangelical, politician, etc. were spoken just for us, at this particular moment in our life, and will somehow unveil our destinies.

We pour over quotes, stressing over each syllable, sweating over each punctuation mark, nauseating over every pause until, at last, we find the perfect fit. Something clicks. We feel a connection. We have discovered our lives purpose. Angels are singing, bells are ringing, yadda, yadda, yadda...

Beneath my 17 year old selves graduating portrait lies this quote credited to Mark Twain,

                           "Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you 

didn't do than by the one's you did. Explore. Dream. Discover." 

While looking through pictures from this past weekend with my parents I thought of this quote and couldn't help but laugh aloud at the 17 year old version of me. I altered the above quote before submitting it to the yearbook staff. The quote in it's entirety reads, "Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the one's you did. So throw off the bowliness. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Do you see what I did? I omitted the risk. The man who penned this quote (whom I discovered years later is indeed not Mark Twain but a modern day author named H. Jackson Brown Jr.) was implying more risk than I was willing to take. His words spoke to me, but I wanted to live a pretty life with no regrets. One where pain and tough decision never occurred. I wanted to explore, dream, and discover all that this life had in store for me without "sail[ing] away from the safe harbor." 

What the 17 year old version of me didn't understand is that you can't live life with no risk and be happy. With the risk comes heartache, tears, and sometimes suffering --but, more importantly, with the risk comes joy. A joy in knowing that you made it, that you took the necessary steps to bettering your life, that you had the faith, the courage, and the ability to leave your safe harbor and cast the winds in your sails.

Moving away from all I even known and all I ever loved was a risk. I feel the pain every time I give a loved one a hug knowing that I won't see them for another six months. I feel the heartache when I hang up the phone after a conversation with my best friend, wondering when I'll be able to talk to her face to face again. I feel the despair when nostalgia sets in for the holidays and I long for the comforts of home.

Oh, but I feel deep joy and contentment when I wake up next to the one I love! I feel overwhelming gratitude when I look around at the lovely home I live in surrounded by these tall, mossy Pacific Northwest trees. I feel satisfaction in knowing that I was brave enough to leave my safe harbor. And I feel blessed that the Lord has such great plans for me.

The risk is scary, but the reward is worth it.

Countdown Of Me

5 Things I Can't Live Without:

1. my husband

2. my family

3. my fur babies

4. coffee

5. books

4 Things That Terrify Me:

1. Anything with more than 4 legs

2. Anything with less than 2 legs

3. My house burning down

4. Showering when no one is home {I know this one is weird, but I feel like I'm either a) going to be murdered while taking a shower or b) I'm going to slip and be severely injured and because no one is home I'm going to drown or something!..I dunno! Completely strange and irrational. I know!}

fire! fire!

3 Things That Annoy Me:

1. Steven trying to sleep on my side of the bed

2. When people leave cabinet doors/pantry doors/refrigerator doors open

3. The banana noise

2 Things I'm Working On:

1. My anxiety issues {this needs a whole post (or series) of its own}

2. Coping with the realization that Huckleberry is no longer a tiny baby :(

1 Thing I'm Grateful For:

Harry Potter Good Food Miniature Ponies It's really hard to pin down one thing I'm grateful for, but something that I've been struck by lately is simply how beautiful God's creation is. He truly is an amazing artist.

Niagara Falls

And now you know a little more clearly just how strange I really am ;) 

A Few Years Later

Sometimes the reality of where I am today in life hits me like a ton of bricks, leaving me breathless. I live in Washington. I'm married. I own a home. I have a full-time job...in my field, no less. They are all amazing and wonderful realizations, yet simply mind-blowing. Where I am today is exactly where I'm supposed to be, yet just a few years ago, I never would have envisioned this life for myself.

All through high school and college I had a strict plan for life and very rarely would I ever veer from that well-planned path. I've always been independent and strong-willed. I knew what I wanted and I went for it full force ahead. I planned. I set boundaries, deadlines, and schedules. I studied hard, worked harder, and saved every last dime to accomplish my future goals.  

I stressed a lot about my future and worried endlessly about every moot detail of my days. Whether it was school, work, roommates, bills --there was also something amiss and I never could grasp onto that peace and serenity I saw that others around me possessed. Or maybe it's simply that most of us are pro's at making others believe we have it all together. 

...and then I met Steven.

All this is to say that all my "plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion" truly were fruitless. I tried so hard to place the pieces of my life into my own master plan, but there was an entirely different journey I was met to take. And I am so thankful that I took it. The joy, satisfaction, and peace that has come from this journey is so overwhelming, and to think I could have passed it all by because I'm so stubborn and think my way is the best...that is a frightening thought. It's not peaches and cream all the time. Don't get me wrong, I still face plenty of struggles just like everyone else, but, for today, life is pretty damn good. 

Just thought I'd share what's on my heart and mind lately...

To read mine and Steven's love story and see why I am where I am today, click here.