3.07.2014

I'm Alive!

Yes, I am alive! Sorry I've been a little MIA these last few weeks... My days simply consist of changing dirty diapers, parking my behind on the couch to feed my perfect little one, and stuffing food down my throat every spare moment I can get. It's been quite a blur, really! So prepare yourself for my stream of consciousness blog post.

+ I am sleep deprived and covered in spit up, but I wouldn't trade any of these moments with Jack for the world.

+ Monday was my first day alone with Jack since Steven had to head back to work. I was super nervous, but we survived! I'm really cherishing this bonding time and all his cuddles!
+ Just last night I had the feeling that I am starting to get the hang of this whole "mommy" thing! But man, it is TOUGH WORK! Breastfeeding is still my biggest struggle. Jack and I work hard at it on a daily basis, but I'm beginning to feel as though I need to call in some reinforcements (has anyone every reached out to and used the Le Leche League?). Jack is growing and gaining weight, so I know the hard work and plenty of tears (by both of us) is worth it.  

+ I am famished all. the. time.  I seriously cannot stop eating. I think there is something wrong with me..
+ I've lost 30 of the 41 pounds I gained during pregnancy. I don't even know how that is possible...

+ I'm an emotional wreck. I can't get through a prayer for Jack without bawling my eyes out. I just love that little boy so much! 
+ When Steven gets home from work and sees his son his whole face lights up. It' enough to make my heart burst.

+ On the other hand, when I get up for the umpteenth time to tend to our son at night and see Steven sleeping peacefully I want to punch him in the face. 
+ Expect to see monthly updates of Jack with his sock monkey. (I apologize in advance.) Jack is 0 months old! ;)

These last few weeks have been the most difficult, yet most rewarding, of my life. I seriously don't want to be doing anything else but spending my days with my little boy. My heart aches when I think about returning to work, but I'm trying to live each day one at a time and cherish the time I do have to give him my undivided attention. He is just so stinkin' cute!

Thank you for continuing to read and check up on this blog even though I've become the most flaky blogger in the history of the universe. Maybe one day I'll have some sort of routine established... but don't hold your breath. 

14 comments:

Jennie said...

He is so cute! I love the sock monkey!
Breastfeeding is not easy so don't get down! The first few weeks are the hardest and its painful and I wanted to cry every time it was feeding time. I saw a le leche nurse and I don't think it helped much (at least for me it didn't). When Eli was about 2 months old it got a lot better and he is now breast feeding like a champ! It just takes time for you both to learn! Also I was eating like crazy at first too! After every feeding I felt like I was starving but that went a way a little but still trying to get those extra calories to keep my supply up! If you have any more questions about breastfeeding I can try my best to help! I love all the pictures of him, he is so perfect!

Holly said...

Jack is absolutely adorable :) I second what Jennie said - breastfeeding isn't easy, the first few weeks are the hardest, and it gets better! I didn't have any issues with Topher but Ellie had a hard time latching correctly, so the public health nurse that visited our house the day after we got home (do they do that where they you live? It's awesome!) suggested I use a shield, and that made ALL the difference!!! I used it for a couple of weeks before Ellie started to get the hand of things. You should definitely contact the Le Leche League if you're concerned, though! I ate like crazy the entire time I was breastfeeding :D

Nancy Carroll said...

Danielle; my daughter-in-law Amanda used the Le Leche League for both kids. She said it was a great organization and were extremely helpful.

Samantha Curtis said...

What a sweetheart! I'm adjusting to life with two and it's seriously the hardest thing I've ever done lol but so rewarding right!? Xo

Bailey@Lost&Found said...

Ahh breastfeeding, no one can prepare you for how hard it is. BUT it gets so easy!!! I never used LLL but I did see a lactation consultant and it definitely gave me some reassurance... I couldnt help but giggle at your comment about late night feedings and the husband sleeping. Hopefully soon your little guy will give you longer stretches of sleep at night. Plus, breastfeeding will get easier so night feedings will take less time :) the tears, joy, frustration, and saddness is completely normal!!! Enjoy all the snuggles you can get. My little man is only 4 months and never sits syill! I miss him passing out on my chest all the time!

From Foothills to Fog said...

He's so precious! Looking forward to more sock monkey pictures! I hope things get easier with breast feeding, I'm sure all the mammas out there have great tips! Have a wonderful weekend with your boys!

Nancy Carroll said...

The painful part of breast feeding is the way the baby latches onto the breast. If you take your 1st 2 fingers and press them on either side of your nipple so that it is bulging out and make sure that the baby's mouth is open wide, he will latch on better. It will help not to get cracked nipples too. I dont know if I explained it well but a nurse when I had my boys helped me tremendously. Ask, Ask, Ask for help, there is a lot of help out there for nurturing mommies and don't give up. It's so good for the baby and such a wonderful bonding for mommy.

Natalie | Mrs. Janney | said...

The excessive crying is normal. So normal. I dropped Henry off at daycare today and almost started crying.

I reached out for any breastfeeding help I could get! The LLL leaders are great. Fellow breastfeeding moms are great. I saw a lactation consultant and she was amazing. I wouldn't still be breastfeeding if it wasn't for the HUGE breastfeeding support I had.

Your comments about your husband CRACKED ME UP!! I feel the same way about my husband. Just last week, I got up with Henry 3 times and my husband completely slept through it. I almost woke him up, just because, but I didn't. :)

Kenzie S said...

Oh my goodness he is absolutely adorable!! I remember how hard breastfeeding was. Before I had my son I thought that it would be a simple and easy process. Boy was I wrong! If you need some extra help or anything don't be afraid to ask! I wish that I had.

Tiff said...

Are there lactation consultants that you can seek out at the Pediatrician's office or hospital? Breast feeding is of huge importance to me, so I've tried to seek out some resources now. Also, you probably are starving! My midwives and some of the research I have done suggest adding at least 200 more calories per day beyond the 300-400 you added in the last 2 trimesters since breast feeding is such a work out!

He is such a handsome little guy and you are a wonderful mama!

Amira said...

I cannot recommend enough how important it is to see a lactation consultant! It saved my nursing relationship with Avery during those first few weeks when we were really struggling. 13 months later and we're still going strong (I wish there was a consultant to help with weaning haha!) Definitely call in some reinforcements, you will never regret it! Great job mama. Reading this post made me so nostalgic for those newborn days. I know how sleep deprived you probably are, and what a world changer it is, but try and soak up every minute. You'll blink and it'll be his first birthday.

Katie Arruda said...

congratulations! what a sweet little boy. All my friends said the same thing about breast feeding. In theory it sounds so "easy" but they all said the same thing! you are not alone! congrats and good luck!

Mrs. V said...

I have to agree with you..He IS "just so stinkin' cute!" Totally love the sock monkey pictures and look forward to more in the future! (I'm a big fan of sock monkeys lol) :) Your little man is adorable and I hope things get easier for you! Enjoy your time with him!! :)

cynthia said...

I can only echo what everyone has already mentioned... Try to find an LC, or (I think I might have mentioned this before?) look for a breastfeeding support group in your area? The LC I met in the hospital runs one weekly and it was a great resource for me! It WILL get easier, don't worry! Plus, if he is gaining weight you are probably doing fine. It's just a lot of new things to figure out. :) Hang in there, mama!