A World Without Meaning

It's Day 4 of the Blog Every Day In May challenge and I'm getting a late start. There is something about sleeping in and then taking your time with that first cup of coffee  --gives me that feeling that today is going to be a great day. Funny how an extra hour or two of rest and some caffeine can change your morning outlook on life. And then I started to ponder that a little --my outlook on life, and how mine usually isn't all that positive. I hate to admit it, but I tend to be a glass half empty kind of girl.

So that's what was on my mind this morning as I looked for the perfect response to today's prompt, "your favorite quote and why you love it." (Yes, I didn't begin looking for a quote until this morning. I'm also a blog on a whim kind of girl.) Instinctively, I typed the name C.S. Lewis into my search bar, probably for two reason: 1) he was a brillant scholar and deep thinker and 2) his writings always seem to strike a cord within me, as if he knows what it is I've been struggling with even though I cannot articulate it myself, and provides me with an answer that resonates within my entire being --and just like that, I know it's truth. An atheist philosopher turned Christian apologist, C.S. Lewis used his pen as a sword as he defended his faith using philosophy and logic, leaving in his wake glorious quotes for me to use in a prompt such as this. Thank you, Clive. 

"If this whole universe has no meaning we should have never found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there was no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I first read this quote in college. In my philosophy class I was assigned to read six books by Lewis, then I found myself checking out biographies on him in the library just because, and then I decided to write a paper on him, too. I was drawn to him and at the time I thought it was just because he was a great scholar, but now I realize it was because he was speaking truth --something that is so lacking in our world today, something that resonates inside of us whether we want it to or not.

I think what Lewis is saying is pretty straightforward. We know there is meaning to this life because we can see it all around us --in a child's laughter, in the beauty of creation, in the helping hand of a friend -- just as we know there is light because we've experienced it. If this world had no meaning, we would never question whether it did or not because we wouldn't know any better, just as we would never know of darkness if we hadn't experienced light. It's very basic, really, yet so profound. Of course, Lewis was using this logic as a defense for the existence of God. 

I buy into his logic and I've adopted it as my own. 

We could take this deeper, as, I'm sure, Lewis intended for his readers' to do, but the sun is shinning and Huckleberry's waiting for me to take him on a walk. The last thing I want to do is turn any blog post into a debate on my beliefs. You see, I don't believe a debate is necessary. I see the proof of God's existence day in and day out. Just as I know there is good because I have witnessed evil, I know there is a God because I have witnessed Godlessness. We humans are capable of so much destruction, yet (most of us) strive to live life's of peace and bestow patience, kindness, goodness, and love on those around us. We strive to be like Him because we recognize just how dismal a world without Him is capable of being. 

So thank you, Mr. Lewis, for helping me when I struggled with this truth all those years ago. This world is not without meaning and this life should be viewed with the glass half full.

Simply Truths in Grandiose Creations

Steven, Huck, and I take a lot of walks together. There is something about leisurely strolling through nature that is invigorating. The colors, the sounds, the smells --they all become more vivid. The more time I spend outdoors, the more refreshed and alive I tend to feel. 

It's funny because during these walks I always find myself saying words like beautiful and amazing, and exclaiming how green and saturated all the colors are. That's funny because I'm describing Washington. This random place that I moved to to be with the one I love, yet I never forget to let everyone know how much I hate it here at any given opportunity. The sky is always grey! It rains EVERY DAY! I just want some sunshine!! 

I do think that the dreary days tend to sit on my soul more heavily than most. I blame this on my right brained tendencies. But the reality is that I'm complaining about the beauty of God's creation. And it's really just that, beauty. 

Those rainy days are what make the colors so vivid and those clouds are what make me better appreciate the sun. Sure I'd love to be in sunshine 24/7, but then you know what I'd probably be saying? It's so hot and sticky! I wish it would rain.

Us humans...we're a funny conundrum. 

"Poets are always taking the weather so personally."  - J.D. Salinger

"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather."  - John Ruskin

The Good Stuff

photos by Kelsey Lynne Photography 

Every Christmas I read a book by Charles Dickens. I love the social critics he laces throughout all his stories, and just his overall grasp on humanity. That man knew the inter-workings of his fellow human creatures, and he wasn't shy about bringing them to light. 

This year I choose Oliver Twist, his early book about a tenderhearted orphan boy who is greatly mistreated. Dickens uses sarcasm and dark humor to draw attention to England's condition during his time --Poor Laws, child labor, child criminals, and the arrogance and ignorance of the wealthy. Yet even though this book is fiction and written in the 1830s, the condition of the human heart is not much changed, and while pouring over this book with pen in hand, I could not help but underline the following, since every syllable I read of it reverberated in my own heart.

"Such is the influence which the condition of our own thoughts, exercises, even over the appearance of external objects. Men who look on nature, and their fellow-men, and cry that all is dark and gloomy, are in the right; but the sombre colours are reflections from their own jaundiced eyes and hearts. The real hues are delicate, and need a clearer vision." 

After I read those words I reread them and reread them again. All I kept thinking was just how true this particular observation by Dickens had recently become in my life. Ever since the Sandy Hook shooting, it has been hard to view the world we live in as anything more than a dark, disgusting, hateful place. There is so much evil, and in the light of tragedy we are forced to step out from inside our little protective bubbles in life and recognize it. We have to recognize it because it's there. Even Dickens says you are "in the right" to view the world that way. Evil is prevalent. And the evil that took place at Sandy Hook has been felt throughout or nation --in the workplace, in the classroom, at home, and on our blogs. 

I've read multiple posts written by beautiful, intelligent women who are simply heartbroken by the tragedy. Emotions range from anger, fear, and disgust. We have all been infected by this evil like we will be by many more to come. It enters into our minds and hearts, making us ill, causing us to view the world we live in with these jaundiced eyes. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone touched by this tragedy.  

(I promise this post has a point.)

And getting right to that point. Dickens states that "the real hues are delicate, and need a clearer vision."  When I read that I felt conviction. Oftentimes, I think it is in our nature to dwell on tragedy and allow it to seep into every facet in life. The tragedy is ugly and overbearing. It consumes us and overtakes every  action we set out to do. We live joyless and in fear. We forget about the good stuff. 

The good in this world is delicate and much harder to see, but especially when you and I are consumed with dark and gloomy thoughts. So in light of this tragedy, I want to share with you the good stuff that's been going on in my life. Because even in the dark times, God is there. His presence may be harder to see, but, oftentimes, He's in the small things.

The good stuff like staying up late laughing with my husband till there are tears in my eyes because his name ideas for our future babies are so ridiculous. 

The good stuff like paying for the lady's coffee behind me at the Starbucks drive thru.

The good stuff like hearing from a old friend that she just got her dream job.

The good stuff like receiving Christmas cards in the mail. 

This list could go on, but this post is already way too long. I simply just wanted to encourage you to not forgot about the good stuff in life because it is there and it is beautiful. God is in the good stuff.

Countdown Of Me

5 Things I Can't Live Without:

1. my husband

2. my family

3. my fur babies

4. coffee

5. books

4 Things That Terrify Me:

1. Anything with more than 4 legs

2. Anything with less than 2 legs

3. My house burning down

4. Showering when no one is home {I know this one is weird, but I feel like I'm either a) going to be murdered while taking a shower or b) I'm going to slip and be severely injured and because no one is home I'm going to drown or something!..I dunno! Completely strange and irrational. I know!}

fire! fire!

3 Things That Annoy Me:

1. Steven trying to sleep on my side of the bed

2. When people leave cabinet doors/pantry doors/refrigerator doors open

3. The banana noise

2 Things I'm Working On:

1. My anxiety issues {this needs a whole post (or series) of its own}

2. Coping with the realization that Huckleberry is no longer a tiny baby :(

1 Thing I'm Grateful For:

Harry Potter Good Food Miniature Ponies It's really hard to pin down one thing I'm grateful for, but something that I've been struck by lately is simply how beautiful God's creation is. He truly is an amazing artist.

Niagara Falls

And now you know a little more clearly just how strange I really am ;) 

That Post Where I Expound On My Marital Wisdom

Not only is tomorrow my birthday (!!!!!!), but it's also mine and Steven's one month anniversary. Ahh, to be married a month! What a huge accomplishment (heavy sarcasm applied).  Or maybe, in today's culture, it is a huge accomplishment. 

So far, in my very short stint of marriage, I've learned a few important things. Firstly, husbands are good for killing spiders, reaching those dishes in the top cupboard you have to climb on the counter to get, and eating leftovers. All things I am immensely grateful for. Secondly, I've learned that marriage is an evolution. A never ending process of two beings becoming one. 

But wait, Danielle. (This is you speaking, FYI.) Don't the two become "one" on the wedding day? 

To answer that question simply, I'd say "yes." It says in Genesis 2:24,  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." But your wedding day is just the beginning. To say that all your selfish, sinful human desire ends here and that you are living every moment unconditionally loving your spouse is simply untrue. We are too selfish for that. We are too human. 

I believe for two souls to become completely one they have to unite on three different levels: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. What does that EVEN MEAN!?! In many ways, I'm still learning.  But can this phenomenon take place? Certainly. Can it take place with only the husband and wife's efforts? Absolutely not. I doubt there is one successful marriage in which a third party isn't involved. Christ is oftentimes the missing link. Only he can create the durability that weaves these two souls together so tightly no amount of time, circumstance, or suffering can ever break them apart. 

Danielle, you've been married one month! How could you possibly know this??

I've seen it. I have seen marriages deteriorate because of selfishness and sin. I have seen a woman suffer due to her husband's obstinate refusal to turn his heart to God. I have seen men carry a burden too great for even the shoulders of an ox to bear because their wives have sought their own pleasures and denied Christ. I see it in the news everyday. In the books I read. I see it plastered on the internet and behind the smiling facade of a stranger's face. 

I've seen it and so have you.

Some of you live it...

If marriage were supposed to be easy, God wouldn't have needed to leave us with instructions. "Wives submit to your husbands....Husbands love your wives..." (Read Ephesians 5: 21-33 for the versus in their entirety.) 

In the last month, Steven and I have already had a few ups and downs. I've felt unloved, he's felt disrespected. When I use to tongue to break him apart instead of to life him up, I hear it. I hear that third party whisper to my heart. Danielle, respect your husband. And when I feel unloved (usually due to something stupid like a raised toilet lid or dirty socks on the floor), the soft whisper returns. Danielle, I love you. [I] The Lord your God is in your midst, [the] mighty one who will save; [I] will rejoice over you with gladness; [I] will quiet you by [my] love... (Zephaniah 3:17). 

I have so much to learn regarding marriage. I know I am not the perfect wife and never will be, but by golly I'm going to start trying!!! Why not strive for perfection? Of course, I can never attain it in this life, but how awesome would that be if I tried? Tried to love Steven with every ounce of my being? Tried to honor him and submit to him daily? Wow! What an amazing marriage we'd be blessed with. 

And I suppose that's the third thing I've learned in my short stint of marriage. 

It is a blessing. 

Fix It.

Via

If you were to ask me for one thing that I have taken away form premarital counseling I would say that MARRIAGE IS GOING TO BE TOUGH! 

obvi.

Communication

Respect

Love

Selflessness

Kindness

....

The list could go on and on.

It's not that this is new information to me. 

I have heard people say all my life that marriage is one of the hardest things they have ever done.

Marriage is tough.

A sacrifice.

A blessing.

A giving of ones' self.

Daily.

A continual outpouring of every good thing in you to give to another.

Marriage is exhausting.

Exhilarating.

Terrifying.

An ever-changing, developing, mind-blowing whirlwind.

And since you and I live in a fallen world,

Marriage is broken.

We must massage, mend, and mold it.

And then get up the next day and do it again.

But I've also learned, 

that if done right,

MARRIAGE IS WORTH IT.

Happy Birthday {yesterday}, Lover Boy!

Sorry for my absence yesterday. It was a certain amazing fiancé's birthday. 25. Steven has lived a quarter of a century! Old man.

We celebrated his birthday this weekend at my lake house with some BBQ goodness and friends. And yes, there was cake. And yes, I ate about 3 too many pieces. 

But the big birthday thrill came yesterday around 6pm when we got the keys to our new home! 

This has definitely been a crazy year for Steven and I. Me moving out to Seattle last July, getting engaged, planning a wedding, moving the wedding up by 4 months, buying a home...so many changes!!! I have been so incredibly blessed it feels unreal. Seriously, will someone pinch me just to make sure I'm not dreaming? Thinking back to just one year ago I never would have imagined this would be my life. That I would be engaged to the boy I met while working at Cracker Barrel. That I would move across the country to pursue this romance. 


Honestly, spontaneity is not in my blood. I never would have taken this step had the Lord not given me peace and strength. He is amazing. And His plans are so much greater than our own.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

Ah, do not fret my lovelies. More pictures to come.

Friday Letters

Dear Huckleberry - I am so glad today was the last day of your antibiotic. Now (hopefully) I no longer will wake up at 2am to the smell of your stink and frantically search the bedroom floor for your feces. I swear, you and antibiotics DO NOT mix well. One should never mistake farts for poo.. (was that too disgusting for so early in the morning? My apologies)

Dear One Tree Hill - Your absence in my life is depressing. I grew up with you. Now, it's as if an era has ended...a piece of my childhood GONE!

Dear Steven - I love that you asked me out on a date with you this morning. I hope you never stop taking me on dates.

Dear Readers who are Obsessed with their fur babies as much as I am with mine - I love the comments and emails you leave me about your pups. It feels nice knowing there are other crazy, obsessive dog lovers in this world.

Dear Bible Study - I am really glad I joined you. I never knew how much I was starving for God's Word until you encouraged me to dive head first in once again. Thanks..