My Struggle

Today I'm linking up with Jenni again for day 20 of the Blog Every Day In May challenge. But before we jump into that, you may have noticed some changes around this little space. Aubrey from The Kinch Life gave my blog a much needed facelift and was so amazing to work with! I'm still trying to work out a few kinks and I need to update my "about" and "the boys" pages, so you may continue to see some changes over the next few weeks. So just bear with me as I try my best to perfect this online space that has grown to mean so much to me!!  

Day 20 challenge: "Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now."

Sometimes, I like to give people the subtle stink eye. ;)

We all have our struggles. I know the picture perfect lives I see around me are anything but picture perfect. It's just that we are all such experts at putting on our camera ready faces --giving the world a quick snapshot into our lives, but only the "neat" photo ready areas. But underneath our masks we all have untidy areas, too. Maybe we're working on cleaning them up or maybe we're not, but they are there reminding us that we certainly do not have it all together. We struggle. Each of us in our own unique ways --we struggle.

The struggle within me is one I use to think was a "head" issue steaming from my over-analytical, obsessive tendencies, but lately, I've started to come to terms with the fact that it's actually a heart issue. 

I struggle on a daily basis with a negative attitude and outlook on life. I've mentioned it here and here before, that I'm a glass half empty kind of girl, so I'm not going to go into much detail. It has simply been my struggle for as long as I can remember, and I'm working on it (I truly am!!). 

I'll go through lulls where I think I'm beating it, that I'm actually getting the upper hand on this and beginning to see the silver lining in even the not-so-happy situations in life, but then I fall back into my old ways and infect everyone around me with my negativity and anxious behavior. I fall into that place and no one nor anything can bring me back out but myself. It's a slow, dark crawl but I eventually come out and get back to the better version of me. 

So I continue to struggle and continue to do my best to improve. Some days are better than others, but I've learned a lot about myself in the process and what things (and people) I need to avoid in this life.  Mostly, I'm thankful for Steven, and that he continues to love me despite my crazy ways. Like myself, that boy loves hard and for that, I'm lucky.

So tell me, what is your struggle?