On Planning A Wedding...Or Not

(Before your eyes travel any further down this page, know that this is a rant. You've been warned Read on at your own discretion.)

I know I haven't blogged about how my wedding plans are coming along in a while, and that's because, well...they aren't really coming along. I was excited about being engaged for about two weeks or so, and then family drama erupted and the post-engagement joys were squeezed right out of me. Every. Last. Drop. Honestly, when I sit down and try to accomplish anything concerning the wedding, I instantly feel overwhelmed. 

I'll tell you what I enjoy in life. 

I enjoy that first morning cup of coffee, the way the ducks glide seamlessly upon the lake, and my puppy's breathe warming my cheeks. I enjoy the flutter in my stomach when I know I'm about to see Steven and hearing him laugh. I love his deep, hearty laugh. I enjoy the sun on my face and sand beneath my feet. I enjoy good, intellectual conversation and the friends I encounter within the worn pages of reread books. I enjoy many simple things that I take for granted far too often. 

I'll tell you one thing that I do NOT enjoy. 
Pleasing people simply for the sake of pleasing people. No compromise. No argument that allows pent up emotions to escape. No rational explanation as to why things are how they are. Just pleasing people because they believe that it is your duty in life to make them happy.   

And truthfully, that's what I feel like my wedding planning process has become. I do not enjoy it; therefore, I avoid it. I know, not a very good coping mechanism. 

I'm just tried of people saying things like "It's your day! Just have fun with it. It's all about you!" Well, truthfully, it's not.

Maybe this is just emotionally draining on me because my family and friends aren't here to come to my rescue. I miss my girlfriends. A lot. I wish they could have been with me when I tried on wedding dresses and picked out my venue. Steven's been great, but let's face it --dudes are clueless when it comes to wedding planning. He just doesn't understand my anxiety surrounding the whole affair. 

So, today I'm simply going to enjoy this morning cup of joe and the feel of the keys underneath my fingertips. I'm going to work on perfecting sentences and formatting proposals. I'm going to forget my planning worries and think of the Oxford comma, the sun on my face, and the warmth of my puppy's breathe upon my cheek.

Tomorrow --I'll plan my wedding.


Tyah Ferguson said...

Oh Danielle! I am so sorry to hear this! I just got married a year ago. It was insane and full of family drama... and still is to this day. I hope that wedding planning can become a happy time for you someday soon! Or just hire a best friend/wedding planner to mesh out the overwhelming details for you! Or elope! Just kidding, I remember people saying that to me and I wanted to shoot them! You will figure it out, in whatever timing is best for the both of you! Meanwhile, enjoy that cup of coffee and that precious pup!

Joey said...

If it's any consolation, you are feeling the same way that 99.9% of brides feel. It's so dag'gone hard for people to just let you guys be happy and do things the way YOU want them, because it is, after all, Y'ALLS DAY! I hope the planning gets easier, and if it doesn't there's good news. It's just one day :) Enjoy your coffee!

sea to shining port said...

I'm sorry Danielle! Although I haven't planned my own wedding, I have planned others...and it can be very overwhelming. And you're right, it can so easily turn into everyone else's day!! Please let me know if I can do anything - a road trip to Portland perhaps? Keep your head up!


Holly said...

I think it's normal to feel that way. I absolutely HATED planning my wedding - I was on the opposite side of the country from my family and most of my friends so I had a hard time getting excited about it all. We're planning to do a vow renewal on our anniversary next year and I'm having a LOT more fun planning that!

Anonymous said...

The problem with sand beneath your feet is that it never stays there. It gets into your bathing suit and lunch. Not to mention the floor of your car and then your home. I will agree with you on the 1st cup of coffee and in my case the 2nd and 3rd! Hope you have a great day. Miss you.


Rachel said...

Yeah, wedding planning left me a big, sick stress ball. There were many arguments with family and it became clear to me early on that it wasn't "my day." I realized that it was really our familys' day, which was partly okay with me. I guess you just have to pick your battles. Fight for what is really important to you and try not to stress too much about the other stuff. And know, that in the end, you will be overwhelmed by the love that surrounds you on that day.

Milady said...

Melanie here! I enjoyed this piece, please email me--I have a question about your blog. MelanieLBowen[at]gmail[dot]com

Nancy said...

Honey, I was going back into your posts to find things you had discussed about the wedding and came across this post that I may have overlooked.

Sometimes it's not possible to please everyone. Not to say you dont want to take their feelings into consideration BUT the bottom line is THEY had their chance to do their wedding the way they wanted. This is your turn to make memories. It is your wedding and should be only what you and Steven want. If others dont like it that's their problem. YOu have to do what is best for you or you will resent it for a lifetime. This is your big day, make it about YOU. THEY will get over it.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Aunt Nancy

kennady said...

Taking notes is really help you to remind certain things. My close friend has used to take notes while planning her wedding. She used to take notes using the reminder in the wedding app and also planned her wedding using from it.